Better

Today was better than yesterday. I no longer sit next that guy (I'll just say "L"... his first initial) in Biology, but I managed to sit diagonally behind him in Algebra II. :) And those are our chosen assigned seats! I love his hair. (His natural hair color, brown-ish, instead of when he died it black.) And his eyes are a deep gorgeous brown... when he doesn't hide them by looking at his desk all the time.


Enough. Someone reach through the Internet and slap me until I come to sense, please.... I know everyone thinks he is just shy, but he is a poseur and a jerk, (no offense to your opinions they made me smile, really!). And he has a girlfriend. And my narcy friend likes him. All of which add up to: I cannot like him ever. Never-ever-ever. So anything I say that is nice about him is just me being confused and getting over him.


Biology was quite amusing today--for me. I sit (in an assigned seat... gr) in the first row, middle column of seats. L sits in my column, but all the way at the back. Not important. So the teacher tells us to go up in columns to get books. Big thick heavy books we probably won't use but every other week. And I am just going to try to get out of having a book by going up last, but no. My entire column of people just sits behind me, waiting for me to get up. Like they don't have minds of their own!! (Oh wait, they don't.... Poor little sheep.) Anyway, I got up and as I came back with three hundred tons of useless information in a textbook, I thought to myself "If I wasn't me, I wouldn't have waited for me to get up and get a book, I would have gone and got one myself, no matter what I was doing." Yeah, it sounded like it made sense in my head. But I sound like a crazy out loud. In writing. Here.


And then my day just went on averagely. Except for during dinner, when my day exploded (in my head) into a burst of incredible joy and almost delirious happiness. Because, even though this was a 200 calorie day on my ABC plan....

I only ate 10 calories!!!

I feel amazing. Lighter-than-air, float-above-the-world, bare-bones amazing. :D I cannot believe that! TEN! It doesn't quite seem fair, I hardly tried. But I'm glad I did this! Plus the 10 calories were just from eating two pieces of gum, which is great for me, having no solid food. I only had water and gum today, and I wasn't even really trying to resist food! I haven't opened the fridge, pantry, or any cabinets, except to get out my bottled water. Food has no hold on me today! Woohoo! AND I burned about 700 calories in marching band today, which is good too.

My little victory-dance is done. You couldn't see it, but in my mind there was tons of confetti and a small party thrown in my honor where there was only ice water and gum. :) Really I just saw confetti, but the victory party idea just came into my head....

I feel like I should say also about my day: at lunch my best friend, "A" (going by first initials again), wondered why I wasn't eating. I haven't eaten lunch in over a year, unless it's a weekend. And even then, it's more of a snack. So I just lie straight to her face and say "I'm still full from breakfast. It's not even 10 o'clock, so I'm not really hungry." (I was only lying about eating, I really wasn't hungry.) So she starts quizzing me, a serious third-degree type thing.

A: You used to have these giant lunches, bigger than mine!!

me (thinking): Yeah, in eighth grade.... And I never ate the chips or dessert, only the sandwich and fruit, then I got rid of making sandwiches too!

A: So what did you eat for breakfast?

me (lying lying lying for my life): Eggs, orange juice and toast.

I may have said cereal instead of eggs, but whatever. She accepted it. I am never eating lunch. She can't prove anything. Plus, everyone at our table who ate with me last year knows I never ate lunch, ever. It's normal now.

At dinner my sister said "Why aren't you eating dinner again?" I ignored her. She says "You haven't eaten in like, three days." And my whole freaking family is right there listening to her exaggerate the heck out of my eating, and I just make a few comments that keep her looking like a liar and an over-exaggerater. No one suspects anything, not even her. It's only been two days that I've skipped dinner, and she's seen me eat otherwise, AND she has always wanted to do this to me ever since she saw that episode of "Full House" where the older sister stops eating, and the younger (middle child) sister says "DJ hasn't been eating for THREE DAYS!!!" Pppppffffff. Like anyone would die from that. Idiot TV child-star. Anyway, the tattler becomes the hero who "did the right thing" and DJ eats like a "normal" person again.

My sister always wants to be a hero, the center of attention, a loud mouth who is a jerk to me and my parents still call her an angel.

She can't prove anything either.

I'm going to do so well tomorrow for the 300 calorie day, I can feel it in my head, I am so determined and happy and excited! And when tomorrow is over, I will be through with a FULL WEEK of ABC!!! A whole week! It flew by. :) Thanks to everyone! I couldn't have made it without you!