Later
Yeah, I got interrupted AGAIN to eat dinner. First I turned on the computer, then I was told to clean out the dishwasher. Then I clicked on the Internet, and then I was told to set the table. I came back to put in the web address, and was commanded upstairs to take care of starting a load of laundry and sorting clean clothes. You get the picture. Anyway, as soon as I managed to look at up-dates of blogs I follow and type out that pitiful fragment up there, I had to go eat.
All in all today, I believe I had 516 calories. That sucks of me. I only meant to eat 300, why the heck didn't I just LIE to them?! I can tell a very convincing lie and be a perfect actress when I must, but I was just so inexplicably irritated with my family that there is no way I could have been a sweet little angel about not eating as they would expect. I had to eat. The only thing that almost one tenth makes up for it is that I probably burned about 600 calories today from walking well over a mile in the extreme heat and fidgeting constantly, which apparently burns more calories than you'd think... I've heard between 500 and 800. :)
And so, that is why my family has officially driven me CRAZY. I cannot wait to get my own laptop so that I can't have my computer privileges taken away and I can just sit in my room or on the stationary bike typing away as they eat.... They (the 'rents) can't even hold up my punishment now though, so no way do I need a laptop immediately. I can wait for a bit. Apparently mother-dearest has forgotten all about my banishment from the computer. :) I love that my memory is so much better than hers. I remember the weirdest stuff.
Like, David Mullany Sr. invented the wiffle ball on August 14, 1953. I heard that on the radio two years ago. And the number on the front of a $5 bill I carried around a few days ago... HG 595 07 460 A. I didn't want to lose it, so I figured if I did, at least I could prove it was mine to whoever found it. So many random facts. I don't know why I remember them. I am rambling on and on... I need to talk about something else.
Responses to lovely comments! (I love you all, every one of the comment-leavers and my 15 followers, I really do. And BONUS, I know how to do links now! Woo! I shouldn't be this excited over this....)
ali: Yes of course I'm going to follow your blog! As to the thinspiration, lots of people post pics and things (my pics I try to post tend not to work) and there's some you can Google also. Then there's a website called www.fading-obsession.com that has some really beautiful pics, if you look all the way down the left hand column under pictures or something.... Hope this helps!! :)
heebeejebus: I know, I love not eating when people are around stuffing themselves! Lol, I wouldn't mind having a uniform, but choosing my own clothes is important to me, plus I would never go to a private school unless it was religious (my parents' rule, not mine) and I sooo don't want that. I love my religion, but I do not ever want to hang out in a churchy school because I'd feel like such a "sinner". Darn guilt issues.
lizzy: Haha, I forget all the time, or I realize I spent an entire comment rambling about something that had nothing to do with what I planned to say in the first place....
Ana's Girl: Thanks! I need so much encouragement. (From all of you, you are all so truly wonderful!) My fast was OK, not great, I can do better somehow, and I know I will!
Eva: Being alone with food is the main issue. I hate people watching me eat, so it's difficult to force myself to eat, because I feel like everyone is watching me, maybe thinking "Fat cow, you should eat less or go for a ten-mile run or something. Pig." I feel disgusted with myself whenever I eat, and they just make it worse by being around.... Ugh, I guess it's really a good thing. No binges when I have friends about. :l
Dot: I just love clothes so much, and the urge to go full-blown fashion-obsessed has gotten stronger with the more weight I seem to drop and the stronger I seem to get at resisting. I'd DIE (in a good way :D ) if I could be a model, and they are so thin and I always associate them with gorgeous clothes, so maybe that's where the link comes from in my head. I don't know. I don't think I'll have issues getting on until I'm on the road, so I look forward to posting more this week, definitely!
OK, I've created the longest post on the face of the Earth, so I think I'll just say good night, and stay strong--I'll stay strong too!! :)
4 comments:
I actually get really REALLY mad when people come between me and my blogging too. Like i yell and throw my cell phone across the room. Haha. So you've got nothing on me in the crazy field.
Stay strong, darling. You'll keep doing wonderfully.
I have written way longer posts! : D haha! I love when people post long ones.
I'm sorry your parents were making it impossible earlier to get on : / But at least you were able to eventually!
That's actually kind of amazing remembering the code on the $5 bill! Haha!
And staying in the 500s cal wise is not bad at all! I know you were aiming for 300, but it sounds like you did really well today ; )
I've always loved clothes. But I too notice there is more of an obsession growing as become slimmer. For me, I think it's just the fact that clothes look better on thin people.
I just saw on your profile that you are 15?! Woah! You are so mature! I seriously can't believe you are 15. I refuse. Haha! You make me feel old ; )
Stay strong <3
it sounds like u did well, u burnt the calories u ate!! dont be too hard on urself..
The bullshit thing is that I GO TO A PUBLIC SCHOOL! I didn't even know it was LEGAL to make public schools have uniform. Bah! Not only that, I go to a freakin' art school! A public art school! And we wear uniforms! Ughh.
I definitely had the same problem with family the other day! Every time I started something, I had another thing to do around the house!
Good job on your walk. : ) I love walking so much. I'm a terrible runner and walking is the second best thing haha. I could seriously walk FOREVER. I love it.
I always remember the most random things! Especially calories on things, like I'll look up the calories on something ONCE, and then like a month later I know: 43 calories. Hah. And other really random stuff.
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