Pathetic Random Poetry

I'm not sure if I've written poetry before. I did write one about water and/or ice quite a while back, I believe. Anyway I came up with two random ones yesterday and today while reflecting upon this disordered mind of mine. And I think sharing them here is appropriate, because it's my blog, and I want to. I feel nauseous and narcissistic for wanting to, but this blog is rather narcissistic, so why not?

Here's the one I wrote in the car on the way to the movies yesterday:

Dear Hunger, I hate you. And I'm glad your back.
Lean forward to peer
Over that blurred edge
And I fall.
Don't catch me
Beacause I'm too far gone
Turning back would be
Surrendering--to who?
Myself?
Not worth it.
Can't take that chance.
I'm calloused and rough
Penned in behind this wall:
Not to keep you out
But to keep myself contained
Neatly between the lines
On a sheet of pale paper:
My skin is the paper,
Lined with blue-ink veins,
And I let you see them
As I dive
Falling
Off the cliff of my own mind.



Yeah kinda dark and odd. Here's the second one I wrote, just this morning. (I have lots of thinking time before I can get out of bed. Or I'm just lazy. Whatever.)


Costume on the Stage

I feel caged in,
With these bright lights
Shining, spotlighting my every flaw.

I feel hidden,
Kept away from the world
And no way to see anyone on the outside.

I feel exposed,
As if they all know who I am
And what I've been doing here.

I try to shield myself,
Protection is behind the walls I built
But the mask I wear... is slipping.


Neither are my absolute best work. But I like the ends of each of them.

And I guess that ends this post that was just about me-me-me. I'm so selfish. On the bright side, however, I have eaten only... 16.333333 calories today!! Thank you, Marya Hornbacher's book. :) Yeah, if you want me to email you a copy of it, just post a comment in my previous post. I managed to download the whole thing for freeeeee! I'll see if I can find some other books as well. I * hope * !!

Despite the negative-ness from early on in this post, I am actually having an okay day. Hopefully I can keep it up even with all the food-eating my fellow Americans will do today. I love the pretty fireworks but hate the food that comes with them on Independence Day. gr.